IIt must be a fearful time for Alaska. How in the world are they supposed to survive without Sarah Palin at the helm since she stepped down from being governor today?! Or at least that is probably what Palin is thinking. Here are some of the things that Palin is probably worried about now that she isn't controlling Alaska:
1. When Alaska hits its longest night of the year, the sun might never rise again. Legitimate concern.
2. With all of her free time there might not be enough elk and deer in the whole state of Alaska for both her and her husband to hunt.
3. She must MUST represent Alaska somehow. Ms. Alaska? The current Ms. Alaska ain't got nothin on her and she should probably devise a way to bump her off so that she can be Ms. Alaska. She'll have to divorce Todd while she's at it.
4. The loose morals of the liberal majority are going to take over and every teenage girl (not just her daughter) is going to end up preggers… AND not keep the baby while rushing towards the alter with their barely pubescent boyfriends in shotgun weddings
5. Russia finally has their chance! Who's going to protect the foreign relations between the U.S. and Russia now? Its right over the border.
6. Hockey moms, cub guarding grizzlies, and pitbulls in lipstick all over Alaska and the U.S. have nobody to look up to now.
7. The recession is going to get worse because the media won't have the target of Palin and her family to write about and that means journalists are going to lose their jobs since all the critical news ever revolved around her.
8. Bridges to nowhere…
9. Those skinny actresses in Hollywood that are so jealous of her and her freedom are going to take everybody's guns away in Alaska. They're always out to get her and her guns.
10. Alaska should say thanks, but no thanks to tricky free things like federal aid for all these people here on government assistance, campaign clothes and Katie Couric interviews… that kinda thing.
All worries that her evil plan to take crash courses in U.S. History, geography, and foreign policy to prepare herself for 2012 retirement from governorship and return to her life as wife and mom might be presenting to Palin. Good luck Sarah. Alaska will get through somehow, but personally I am scared for the rest of us. Here is a condensed version of Palin's farewell speech
Fight for what is right my ass… she is such an annoying, crazy bitc… sorry… we won't go there.
S Dot Tell'Em
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